Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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