I'm passing your future prison.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
