Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
