I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize