the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
