ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
