I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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