Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize