Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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