I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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