did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
