Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
