Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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