She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
