girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize