I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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