Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
