I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
