Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
