Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize