you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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