drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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