I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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