So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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