Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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