Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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