I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
