Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
