i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
