Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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