In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
