We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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