you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
