Screwed.edu
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
