I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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