five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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