Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
