Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
