I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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