I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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