so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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