I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
