There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
