in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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