Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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