its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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