hell yes lets make some ravioli
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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