Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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