I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize