I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
