the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
