Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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