shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize