If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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