thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
