Kiss
Puke
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
