me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize