my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
