Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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