So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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