Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
