i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize