I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
