My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
