the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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