How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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