i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
