yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize