I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
