Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
