I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
