I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
