Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
