there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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