i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
