You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize