Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
