I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
