Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
